My neighbor just knocked on my door to tell me my cat is locked up in his storage room. He said it some how got in there two days ago, and he and his workers try to get it out, but it skillfully scurries away among all the boxes, machinery spare parts, and piles of junk, and it has been very difficult.
It's true, my cat's been missing for two days.
'I hope it hasn't made a mess or caused any trouble,' I said, deeply concerned.
'No, don't worry about it, I'm just afraid it might starve to death in there,' he answered.
Then he said tomorrow he'll knock on my door at 9 am so I come with him into the storage room and try to retrieve the cat. I was about to ask: 'why not do it right now?' But then I thought it would be somewhat inappropriate for me to go into his workshop at this late hour. So I said I'd meet him tomorrow moring, and bring some tuna for the cat.
Now I wonder how come I was worried about etiquette, politeness and protocol when I should have been afraid and even offended by this man's proposal. I don't think I'm being at all paranoid when I think: what if the cat died, what if it was brutally run over, squished to death under one of their clients' lorry and they (the guy that knocked at my door is the the owner of the lorry service workshop in front of my house, and he has several mechanics working for him), what if they all realised my cat's tragic death was a marvelous opportunity to lure me into their stinky, greasy workshop, kidnap me, rape me, kill me, fornicate my dead body, chop me into little pieces, feed me to the dogs, and then blend whatever's left of me into motor lubricant?
I hope one of you, readers, call me at about 9:30 am tomorrow to see if I'm still alive.
As said Dr Strangelove, "Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*!" So if your blogpost is to serve as a deterrent to the identified person harming you, you should tell said person before he gets an opportunity to harm you!
ReplyDeletedamn it, its wednesday already, i read it too late. hope your still alive and well, or at least the cat.
ReplyDeleteDear friends,
ReplyDeleteI'm fine. The cat, however, was not there.
aww is it too late to say "regardless of whether you get your cat back or get raped, those kitty kidnappers SURE wanted some PUSSY!"?
ReplyDeletehola jane!
ReplyDeletesoy katy,
lo siento por tu gatito,
al rato regresa.
¿Así que el gato de Schrödringer en realidad era de su guapa vecina?
ReplyDeleteThat remembers me when my cat gave birth in a shelf in my house, back in Chilpancingo. The crying of the new-born kittens just broke my heart. I thought that the right thing to do was to rescue them from that dirty old place. I was 7 years old (I think that's important)
ReplyDeleteNice blog, I have been reading it secretly, like Boigen's. But now I have mine, feel free to visit and comment.
interesting read. I would love to follow you on twitter.
ReplyDelete